Every few years, I invite readers and colleagues to contribute guest columns in the series Technology and my Hobby/Passion. A couple of hundred have contributed since 2009 on their birding, charities, cooking, music, sports and every other passion, and how it keeps evolving with technology. Click here and scroll down to read them all.
This time it is Kate Murphy who calls herself a lifelong learner, change leader and communicator. Her career has centered in the tech/software sector. Her motto is “I focus on what is, and what can be - not what is not or can't be”. She writes about her incredible organizational skills and passion to transition people, places and things to a better place.
"Along life’s journey I became adept at making positive change happen. This realization inspired me to dig into the structural and cultural aspects of organization design and change management. I spent a chunk of my career in roles where I led transformation and change initiatives and/or served as an internal practitioner helping teams across the business landing changes into practice.
Once I saw the power of systems thinking and how simple tools and solutions enable change management, I was hooked! My knowledge of how to make change stick eventually spilled into my personal life where it has helped my life’s journey and serves my passion to help people.
We all have moments that call for us to reflect and revise our 3 Ps: purpose, priorities, and practices. It might be due to a major life event like getting married, becoming a parent, getting divorced or the death of a spouse. You know, the big stuff that has us rethink and reset how we live.
I now regularly reflect and revise, but for a time I did more floating and reacting than planning. For years. my husband Dennis and I made unconscious, daily decisions which eroded our financial outlook and slowly sabotaged our health. We both spent way too much time working (and caregiving) and too little time focused on healthy eating, exercising, and keeping up positive daily rituals. For me years of unconscious practices resulted in compounded weight gain and diabetes. Years of paying for outside services led to overspending and saving less money for the future and fun experiences. We talked about saving more, having more fun but the reality was – we had no structured life plan. Our conversations lacked direction on how we spent our time and money. When the kids were growing up, it felt like we too frequently navigated life on automatic pilot and based on their lives.
As I became professionally adept at translating strategy and change management, I started to bring key aspects of strategic planning, change management, and communication into our home. We took a step back and built a life plan. We discussed and I mapped to key changes across all aspects of our lives. We were not perfect – some old habits die hard. Over time we increased focus on health, how we made decisions together and our future. Progress was made! We had a framework to make life decisions.
Nearly 30 years in, life threw a curve ball (as it will) – Dennis was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After two years of working and caregiving, he passed away and I was widowed. Those two years and the aftermath were tough. But we were thoughtful about our decisions. We prioritized health, seeing family and friends over our professional roles. We slowed down. We both liked to keep commitments, so we upheld our professional responsibilities – but not above other priorities. And when work became too much for Dennis, I managed my career and caregiving, but not at the detriment of my priorities!
When Dennis passed, I recognized an opportunity to transform my identity and life as a single woman in her 50s. I defined what that meant to me. But before I launched “Kate plan #1”, I needed to make the emotional and physical transitions – I needed to grieve and literally undertake the legal (loathsome) processes when a spouse passes away. It may sound crazy, but I scheduled time to grieve. I treated my transition strategically. I whipped out MS Office tools to plan out immediate, midterm and long-term goals. I planned, I made timelines, lists, I tracked, and I adjusted along the way. The structure and focus on execution served me well. I was focused on making progress, not achieving a certain date. I celebrated all wins – small to large.
I hired a financial planner, revised my will and other legal documents. Over time I cleaned out closets and reimagined how to use the space in our home. I leaned into making the changes (big and small) and I role modeled a mindset of reinvention for my adult children.
My parents’ finances and health declined. I helped them until each passed away. And my daughter’s disabling health conditions brings with it responsibilities and a housemate! I realized that my role as a caregiver needed to become more ingrained with my life and financial planning. Another “ah ha” moment which required a revision in my plan.
It has been seven years since Dennis passed away. And the Kate plan has been revised seven times based on life’s curveballs and opportunities. During 2020, my daughter Jill and I made a move to the coastal city, Newburyport Massachusetts. The main driver for the move was to serve Jill’s health and healthcare. It also moved us closer to some family and closer to Boston sports. I wanted to live in a coastal community where I could slow down, be close to water, walk more and drive less.
A downside, besides the cold winters, is the cost of living. Both are brutal and required a revision in how we spend and save money. I started following Shang and her story and advice: at Save My Cents. Her advice serves as reminder to be conscious about where every cent is going. And she draws some tight boundaries to achiever her goals. Her life is different from mine, yet she offers ideas and inspiration.
Professionally speaking, my work “Kate plan” aligns with my personal plan. I added spending additional time to help colleagues, friends, and family to my list of priorities. It is time to give back more.
I have always been an active listener. When I take a step back, what I hear are things like “I am stressed”, I am overwhelmed”, “I have no idea what I would do if…”, “I have no time for me”, “How do I do more of what I love to do?”. I can relate. Sometimes people just want acknowledgement. Sometimes they want practical help to change their circumstances or get started. I have started to be more attuned to help others in practical ways.
Over the few years, Jill and I created and/or use systems of work (spreadsheets and apps) to live more efficiently. I have moved 19 times (I don’t recommend it). The upside is we know how to move – the budget, logistics, timing, services, gotchas and all. We designed a system that scales for interstate moves. Jill coded each box. We tracked all contents using a spreadsheet and colored/numbered labels. Our project management was managed tightly.
Before the move, we sold and donated a ton of stuff using multiple storage units over time. We prepped for an eventual move for many months. So, when the opportunity arose, we needed a week to list our home and six weeks to make an interstate move (during COVID-19 pandemic)! The logistics were complex given a temporary apartment in the mix. I factored into the budget external moving help twice.
Real estate, house and space upgrades, simplification and designing rooms are side passions of mine. I love the process of prepping to put a house up for sale including letting go of stuff, upgrading, de-personalizing and staging a home.
Making a career change is another area where I help friends and family. At work my “side hustle” (as I jokingly say) is helping colleagues develop and evolve their careers. I have reinvented my SAP career several times. I have been a strategy auditor in Corporate Audit. I led a transformation and change team in HR. I ran point on various aspects of corporate communications including M&A, financial, crisis and internal comms. Today I am running integrated storytelling for our Global Sponsorships organization in Marketing. It is a mix of digital marketing and communications based on stories told with our sports and entertainment partners.
Big transformations and life changes like career changes and moves can be successful with the right mindset, a plan and daily attention to choices and practices. If you want to be a marathon runner, poor eating is counter intuitive. Turning intentions into daily practice can sometimes feel like building a sandcastle during a sandstorm!
I find that starting small helps. One of my daughter Jill’s (and my) go to books is called Atomic Habits: an Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. After reading this book, Jill vowed to read a chapter a day. At year-end she has read 30+ books, far beyond a chapter a day. Reading is now a part of her daily practice. This is monumental for someone who, amongst her many maladies, suffers from multiple types of headaches daily.
In 2023 I will turn greater attention towards helping people make smooth [life] transitions. I will focus where my passions lie: homes/real estate, career development and reinvention. I am a geek at heart. I will continue to use tools, apps, and the wisdom of others as inspiration to enable smooth transitions.
Follow Kate at Instagram and LinkedIn
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